Archive for the ‘Poopy Valley Kittens’ Category

Link-O-Rama… Because I’m Sitting here

February 6, 2009

A small, but needed, Link-O-Rama for all of you to consume. Please chew carefully.

Link-O-Rama 12/18

December 18, 2008

It’s time to throw your calender out and rearrange the week. It’s not Friday- it’s Sunday. Blasphemy you say? Hardly. If the Hawai’i Bowl was played on a Saturday- then today would be Sunday. It’s Outback Math. Anyways- here’s a few links to keep you occupied:

Post-Game Notes…Penn State

September 9, 2007
Jimmy Clausen made his first career start Saturday at Penn State.
Well, at least it is Michigan week. I can not believe I can say that, but after Oregon’s ass-kicking of the Skunkbears and our own beatdown at the hands of Penn State, ND and Meatchicken will face off with both teams being 0-2. First time in history.

But before we can get to that, let’s get some closure on this last debacle.

Coddling Clausen

Charlie Weis did what I expected him to do with a freshman quarterback. He protected him early with quick passes and had him throw mostly swings and screens to start off the game. Good. The problem, was that he kept him doing this for most of the game. Getting Jimmy some completions and letting his confidence grow was a good thing, but I don’t think Jimmy has or had a lack of it to begin with. Granted, the times ND threw the ball down field Jimmy was running for his life, but those were situations where the defense knew that the Irish were going to anyways. This anemic offense hobbled the team and itself in a variety of ways.

Flag Happy

You could sense after Paul Duncan was flagged for a false start before the first play from scrimmage, that this might be an ugly game for the line yet again. The Irish were flagged 14 time for 97 yards Saturday. Most of which were caused by a member of the offensive line. The rush off the ends for Penn State was so good, you almost can’t blame Duncan for the ones called against him…almost.


For the second game in a row this year (and we’ve only had two), blitz protection has been abysmal. Give credit to the defensive line of PSU for taking on two O-Lineman at a time to allow the blitzing party. Clausen was sacked 5 times. Now while this is a slight improvement from last week, it is still absolute SHIT.

The New Laura Quinn

The Clausen family is the new quickshot for ABC/ESPN this year. Somebody had to of kept track of how many time they went to a shot of the whole family during the game. I really don’t care if Momma winces in pain after her little boy was just thrown to the turf, show something else…please.

Give Brown A Break

The defense was on the field way too long. This was in part due to the ineffectiveness of the Irish offense. Another reason why the Irish defense looked so spent, was the fact that the punt team was comprised of a lot of Irish starters on the defensive side of the ball. We punted 10 times.


  • Jimmy Clausen. Jimmy showed a lot of maturity and poise while under attack from defenders because of an offensive line that lacked maturity and poise.
  • Tommy Z. 3 inches from taking it all the way. Add that with a solid performance and a forced fumble and Zibby is licking his chops about a wounded Skunkbear.
  • Darrin Walls. Shutting the Media up with one swoop is no easy task, yet he managed to do so.

I’ll take that, bitch.

  • Pat Kuntz. Another week of brawling. He’s doing a great job taking on those defenders.

Groin Kicks

  • The Penn State student body. They booed the Irish band and turned their backs while they played. Classless. I hope a Tuba is shoved up their asses in hell.
  • The Mackey Award. Carlson should have got it last year, and now he is in purgatory with only 4 grabs in 2 games… by design.
  • Travis Thomas. You are a captain, time to act like one and not like an asshole. Cheapshots are never good… in front of the ref while the ball is 50 yards away.
  • The entire ND offensive line. You all know why.

Gameday Headbutts and Groin Kicks

September 8, 2007
Subway Domer and the dogs are a little woozy today.

I haven’t had time to put out a game preview today. Plus, my head is throbbing from all the headbutts thrown my dogs way this week. I will provide a a new feature to the site. Pre-Game Headbutts and Post-Game Headbutts as well as Pre-Game Groin Kicks and Post-Game Groin Kicks. Here we go…
  • Offensive Line. They need to play with more poise and guts this week. That is about as obvious a need as national health care. The offense will only go as far as these 5 guys will take them. KABOSH
  • Jimmy Clausen. The time is now for the Freshman. If the line holds up and gives him time, he will do just fine…maybe even spectacularly. Look for a lot of 3 step drops today in an effort to get Jimmy in a rhythm.
  • Every single defensive player. Fuck up Morrelli. Period. I am not as confident in Moroni as the rest of the country, do not make me eat my words.
  • Armando Allen. Take one to the house. Whether it be a screen or a kick return. We need a Rocket-like effort today.

Groin Kicks

  • The Zombie Nation. Score points early and a take away the ball and watch their heads explode. If not, We might be better off learning American Sign Language.
  • Morrelli. He looked good… against Florida International. What kind of school is that anyways.
  • Derrick Williams. Make him wish he had back those 15 pounds he lost. Hit him and watch him duck.
  • Dan Conner and Sean Lee. A kick to the groin might help us block these two, or maybe not. Either way they must be neutralized at times for the Irish to move the ball.

That’s all I got. I can barely sit still to write this. I gotta find some more headbutts. Where’s the wife?


An Interview With A No-Name

September 6, 2007
A white out in September? Sounds fishy.
I recently typed up an interview for J.B. of the Penn State blog There is No Name On My Jersey. (Long name). Here it is for what it is worth…
  1. What do you feel are PSU strengths and weaknesses? Penn State’s strength’s are as obvious as the uncertainty at other positions. Offensively, the WR corps are a very talented and mature bunch. The Offensive line is an experienced bunch this year but most of them are new to their positions. I believe that A.Q. Shipley will have them working together well. Anthony Morelli remains an enigma; will the controlled, mistake-free QB from the Outback Bowl show up on game day? Or will it be the QB who tries to force passes that aren’t there? Austin Scott is certainly a talented RB but it remains to be seen if he can deliver on that potential over an entire season. Defensively, the back seven are among the best in the country. Justin King a shut-down corner with 4.2/40 speed is not only the best corner on the team but also the best DB in the Big Ten. Anthony Scirrotto is an All-Big Ten Safety who is a real ball-hawk. The LBs are the best in the country. Dan Connor will be an All-American this year and will break Posluszny’s record for most tackles at PSU. Sean Lee might be even better than Dan! The real question on Defense is a defensive line which has been decimated by injuries. Devon Still, a true frosh who looked to make an impact this year, is out for the season with a knee injury. Abe Koroma, who was going to start, broke his foot and won’t be back until sometime after week 4. There is still talent on the line but it will be thin and any injuries could really expose a lack of depth. The D-line is also relatively inexperienced and if they can’t tie up lineman so the LBs can make plays it could be a big problem.
  2. The Irish’s strength and weaknesses? I am by no means an Irish expert so I’m sure I’m only pointing out the very obvious. Offensively, question marks abound. Will Clausen be up to the task? Will the offensive line give the young QB enough time to throw? Will the running game be effective? Defensively, the problem seems to be the secondary. With an offense that is still learning the Irish will have to keep scores under 20 pts. in order to win.
  3. How does JoePa walk around in the daylight as a member of the undead? Well, first of all, I don’t think the un-dead have any problems walking around in the daylight. I think you are referring to vampires. That being said, Joe can do it because he is fucking Joe Paterno. He doesn’t watch TV (obviously) he does football.
  4. Do white outs actually work or is it just an excuse for being colorblind? The White-Out works. They are calling for a stadium wide white-out but i just don’t think it will happen. The students will be completely sans color but there will be several blue-hairs who don’t get the message. However, when the sun has set, zombie nation is playing, and the students are basically moshing in the stands you will then observe the excellence of the white-out.
  5. Have you tasted the delicious treat that is the deep fried White Castle…if so, thoughts? I haven’t. However it looks phenomenal. Chris, if your reading this I have got to try one at the Tosu game so deep fry one of those bad boys for me!
  6. How is the Big Integer race going to shape up? The Big Integer race? I’m afraid i have no idea what you’re talking about.
  7. Does Dan Conner prefer the clear or the cream? PSU does things the right way. Dan is huge and fast but he has always been huge and fast. If anything we need to try to bottle his DNA and make little blue & white clones for the future.
  8. Are you attending the game? I will not be attending the game. Sadly, I live 2,000 miles from State College. There is also the pesky matter of finding $1,100 for a ticket. That I do not have. I will be wearing white and be going out of my mind in my living room.
  9. Predictions for Saturday? I put up a previous prediction of:PSU: 38ND: 20I’m not going to back off of that prediction now. I think the game will be eerily similar to last years game but in a mirror image. Thanks for the invite. Good questions. I can’t wait for the game!

Thank-You J.B. I can’t wait for you to lose either!

Everybody Else Is Doing It…Part One

May 30, 2007

The Brooklyn Bridge. How many times in your life have you heard this bit of wisdom; “If all your friends go jump off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you jump too?”.

Well, the Subway Domer is ready to jump in with all the ass-clown making these huge preseason predictions (this is never more blatant than at Well here goes Subway Domers Why The Hell Not, 2007 Predictions. This is the first part in a five part series. Please Enjoy!

ND VS. Georgia Tech 27-10 IRISH

The home opener for the Irish turned out to be a passing of the torch scenario. With Brady Quinn gone the head honcho now is Jimmy Clausen. The first half was a little tough on the true freshman, he went 8-15 with 1 TD and 2 INT. There was a lot of pressure put on by GT and their front 7/8 with blitz after blitz. The second half started with an Armando Allen kickoff return for 97 yards and a TD. After that the Irish used a steady diet of running plays which freed up J.C. for some nice playaction throws. The Irish D was stout in Corwin Browns first game and held the Yellow Jackets to 92 yards rushing and only 186 yards passing. The only scores for G.T. came in the first half off of the 2 INTs.

MVP- Travis Thomas 148 yards on 22 rushes and 1 TD (47yds).

ND (1-0) @ Penn State (1-0) 33-20 IRISH

A lot of trash talking by the Nittany Lions through the week led to a scuffle on the opening kick. Armando Allen was hit while CLEARLY out of bounds and a small fight broke out. No one was tossed but, Joe Pa did sit Dan Conner out for the first series. It made no difference. The game turned out to be a close replica of the 2006 battle. J.C. was 22-37 for 3 TDS (all to John Carlson) and no INTs. Morrelli struggled all day and threw 2 picks and fumbled twice as well. It was 26- 6 at the start of the 4th quarter when Demetrius Jone made his first appearance of the year and made a nice 54 yard run to the 5 yard line. Two plays later, Junior Jabbie made a tough 3 yard run to grab his first TD of the year. The D was solid all day until the last 5 minutes when Morrelli hit Williams for a 68 yard bomb and then PSU recovered the onside kick and 3 plays later Austin Scott ran in for a 8 yard score.

MVP- John Carlson 9 rec. 123 yards and 3 TDs.

ND (2-0) @ Michigan (2-0) 27-24 Wolverines

Kicking game woes. It killed the Irish. This could of been a steal. With Mario Manningham in Jail awaiting trial for cocaine trafficking, and Mike Hart going out quickly in the first with an undisclosed injury by a hit from Toryan Smith, the Skunkbears seemed less potent. But with 2 redzone turnovers by the Irish and an 0-4 field goal performance by Burkhart and Whittaker, the Irish could not pull off the upset. Kevin Grady carried his team and the Irish for all 3 scUM TDs. The Irish had the ball on 4th down on Michigan’s 30 yard line with 6 seconds to go. Weis opted not to try a field goal and called for a pass that was completed on the 4 yard line, but Parris could not make it in because of a big hit from Morgan Trent.

MVP- Travis Thomas 17 carries for 122 yards 1 TD. 5 rec. for 32 yards and 1TD.

Next Up: Sparty, Purdue, and UCLA.

Ranking: 23 A.P. / 20 Coaches