Archive for the ‘Skunkbears’ Category

Putting The Axe Down, Continues…

September 16, 2009

The Michigan Hangover: Put Down The Axe

September 14, 2009


Sometime in the 4th quarter, I was reprimanded by my family. I held a “Tailgate” party for the game for some friends and family out by my pole barn. Sometime in the 4th quarter, I grabbed an axe and bashed my foundation a few times. Childish? Yes. Necessary? Absolutely. My frustration meter was hitting peak levels. I’ve had time to simmer down a bit, and even though I couldn’t talk myself into watching the game again- I will try to give you a hangover post.

I realize that for many fans, this game was the “end all” for the 2009 season. If you are one of those fans, I really hope you read this post with an open mind. Put down the axe.

Not all was lost. Fighting Irish fans have a tendency to overreact after both, wins and losses. This is no different. I went and looked at a few message boards and saw post after post condemning Weis. I realize there are a lot of nutty nutbags out on the web- but seriously. get over it. This loss was not Charlie’s fault. This loss does not seal the deal on a mediocre season. We have 10 games left and most assuredly a bowl game, with 3 of those 10 regular season games being against teams that I would trade this game for a win in all 3. U$C, Michigan state, and Boston College. So just think about it for a minute, and put down the axe.

Jimmy Clausen can sling the motherfucking rock. Even with the loss to Michigan sitting there like a festering wound on our ass cheeks, we can look at Jimmy and be a lot more confident in him on the road. The offensive line protected Jimmy, and he turned out another big time performance with 336 yards, 3 TD’s, and most important- NO INT’S. Tate’s dropped balls, and a few route running mistakes on the wideouts were the only black marks on a passing game that is becoming damn near elite. Jimmy threw one very bad pass, and that was a dropped INT by a Michigan safety.

Not only was Jimmy passing the ball like the elite QB that he is, but he was really leading this team on the field and on the sideline. Jimmy did not make the “Tebow Speech” to the media afterwords, but he did gather the team after Weis spoke and said this would not happen again. He is becoming that all around QB that we hoped he would become.

The run defense is the cause for my diarrhea. It is sickening. I had my concerns after the Nevada game, but I allowed myself to think that maybe the defense was just keying on something else more dangerous. Now that I have seen 2 games in a row where the opposition averaged over 5 yards per carry- I’m a shaking bitch. Next up is a Michigan State team that always runs well, and remember Jake Locker, and- oh yeah… U$C.

I’m not going to sell out this defense just yet, considering they still pitched a shutout in the first game, but it is obvious that something is wrong. We all know that Tenuta is a blitz-happy psychopath that dreams of quarterbacks being gutted alive- but he is working with a limp. That limp is the defensive line.

I’m not seeing any real production from these guys. That leads to a 6 man rush instead of the “Tenuta 5.” That leads to defensive backs being out of position and wore down from man coverage. That leads to linebackers running past ball carriers. The defensive line has not done the job. Plain and simple. It is a line littered with talent- but young talent. This is not an excuse, as ND has a few upper-classmen in the main rotation, but it is just fact. And that sucks.

The nitty gritty is more grit than nit. With this post being published late on Monday, I will dispense with the bullshit that most of you already have read or heard. I do want to leave you with a few last thoughts about this game though. Just some things swirling in my head- and then I’m out like Kaiser Soze:

  • Ask yourself this question, “When was the last time Notre Dame scored 34 points in Ann Arbor (whore)?” Give up? Try never- or at least not in the modern era (I didn’t look back into the early 1900’s).
  • Michigan is a good team. They sucked balls last year, but they may make a legitimate run at the Big Ten conference, and they basically stole a victory from us in their house.
  • We got “Bobby-Browned” After watching Michigan players cheap shot ND all day, ND got flagged for “shhhing” the crowd. Fuck Michigan.
  • This offense NEEDS Michael Floyd. Remember last year after the Navy game? Yep. It sucked. that’s what it felt like when i saw Shaq Evans, a true freshman, run that route that should of been a first down and victory. If Floyd is out there- Irish win. Plain and simple. In a game where the other superstar WR struggled (Tate) Floyd made the big catches- until his patella was on national TV.
  • Speaking of Tate. He has made enough amazing catches for you- the fat, slow fan, to shut the fuck up. Tough game. He’ll be fine.
  • Armando Allen may be our only running back. It’s fucking sick and amazing to try and comprehend that fact- but it’s true.

That’s it. I’m done talking about this game. The rest of the season is still ahead. Try to enjoy some of it you whiny sacks of shit. Yes, there was AN AMAZING AMOUNT OF BULLSHIT that happened Saturday. We all need to move past it, just like this team does. No excuses- no surrender.

I’m sorry I called you a whiny sack of shit. I’m trying. I’m really trying… I need to put down the axe.

Weis Talks Officiating

September 14, 2009

Michigan. September 12, 2009

September 11, 2009

Irish Blogger Gathering: You Suck! No, You Suck!

September 11, 2009

Welcome back to the weekly Irish Blogger Gathering. Her Loyal Sons has the duty of hosting this weeks gig- and how fitting. HLS are some of the most widely known Michigan haters on the planet- nay, the universe. God bless domer.mq and the Biscuit.

On to the post…

1) Being that you’re a ND blogger, and thus follow a Catholic university’s football team religiously and/or are Catholic yourself, you’re probably very familiar with the notion that bad things happen to good people. For a concrete example of that, look to every Irish player, coach, and fan who had to suffer through the last 2 seasons. But never forget that bad things can happen to really rotten people too. For a really fun example of that, look to Rich Rod going 3-9 in his big debut season in Ann Arbor. Now let’s mess with your heads a bit: Give me one very good reason why great things might happen to very bad people by explaining to me A) How and why Michigan (sucks!) might beat ND this weekend and B) How Michigan (sucks!) will compete for a BCS berth in 2009.

A. Michigan sucks because they have 110,000 people at their home games, and it is as quiet as a golf course.
Michigan Sucks because they have piss stains on their helmets.
Michigan sucks… oh… I didn’t read the rest of the question. Damn. Better start over…

A. Michigan beats ND if the Irish cough up the ball. In most wins in this series, it is turnovers that ultimately decide, or at least a big contributor to, the winner. 1 INT and a fumble could seal the deal.

B. The Big Integer is in a down year top to bottom in a period of being down top to bottom anyways. If the skunkbears can steal the game Saturday, I think they have a shot at the conference title. Which means they show up in the Rose Bowl to get waxed by U$C once again. Can Satan really have 2 teams?

2) After week 1, just as in 2008, the leading tacklers for the Notre Dame fighting Irish are both safeties: Kyle McCarthy with 7 and Harrison Smith with 5. DE Kerry Neal isn’t even on the stat sheet, Brian Smith, while making 2 very big plays, didn’t make a single other tackle, and Ethan Johnson had 1 tackle all game. Convince me that Michigan (sucks!) wont just run a “9 yards and a cloud of dust” offense against ND all freaking game.

I really can’t. The more I watched the Nevada game- the more frustrated I got. The goal of the defensive line this year (as with most years) is to keep blockers off of the blitzing linebackers, and allow those non blitzers and safeties to come up and make the tackle. The keyword here is “up”. The running back is getting 2-3 yards before an attempt is even near. I hope change is in the wind.

3) We’ve now got the concrete data of 1 game to bat around. Aside from any answers involving T’eo, tell me what position changes/depth chart engineering you hope to see the staff at least tinker with during the Michigan (sucks!) game.

I actually think that Weis played more players during the course of the Nevada game than what we will really see against a tough opponent, most notably in the secondary. I hope to see a little less of this while the game is still up for grabs. With that said, I do want more Burger.

4) The state of Michigan has decided that they’ve ripped off the Rudy soundtrack long enough and need a new advertising scheme to attract people to their state and support tourism. “Pure Michigan (sucks!)” is so two-thousand-and-late. Give me the new hotness. Give me your best new tourism slogans for Michigan (sucks!).

I will steal a favorite slogan from my Ohio brethren: “Michigan. Canada’s Alabama.”

5) Navy took tOSU down to the wire, Washington actually looked like a team that’s coached to play football games, WSU put up some fight. After Week 1, do you now feel like the Irish ’09 schedule is tougher or easier than you felt heading into last week? Why?

Actually, I will reserve all judgement until week 3. It was week 1, and week 1 can be a bitch- and a little weird. With that said, it does help the perception of the schedule by the pundits, which could help in the polls.

GO IRISH!!!!!!!!

Interview With Socialist Skunkbears… You’ve Been Warned

September 10, 2009

As we did last year, The Wolverine Liberation Army and The Subway Domer shared a warm beer and smoked non-filtered cigarettes while pretending to know things about things. Here are the questions that were asked of me (they should be up soon- I wake up a bit earlier), while you will find my interview of them below.

Take the safety off…

Say you are a fan of a traditional powerhouse in football. Say that team may or may have not committed NCAA rules, but they are allegations none the less and must be addressed. Would you rather have your head coach A) Be stoic, defensive and proud while denying all charges B) Cry like a bitch and admit what he did was wrong C) Cry like a bitch, but deny D) Stand up at the podium for 20 minutes and try to cry like a bitch but could never shed a tear?

We’re not sure what this question is driving at – as far as we know, lying to Burger King about being short changed on an order to get a free Angry Whopper isn’t actually an NCAA violation and we didn’t see Weis crying when he was confronted about it. Or are you referring to Ta-nu-ta blubbering like a sad Thomas the Tank Engine when he was told in meetings that blitzing 13 guys is illegal and potentially risky?

Also, we didn’t see E) drive his enormous ass up and down the sideline on an electric cart. We’re sure the ND faithful would choose E.

The WLA refuses to discuss said allegations as they are involved with the investigation. They also stated that while Ann Arbor is a whore, she is an expensive whore.

You have a couple of good players on both sides of the ball, or so I am told. Give me a couple and explain why I should give a shit.

The best player on the roster, by far, is Brandon Graham. You, and Jimmy Clausen may remember him from Sam Young “blocking” him to the tune of 3.5 sacks in 2007. In 2 years of starting, he has 18.5 sacks, and while not registering any last week, knocked WMU’s Tim Hiller down around 10,000 times. He’s a first-round pick next draft – single-block him at your peril.

Tate Forcier is a remarkably poised freshman QB. And I don’t even mean this sort of “poised”.

ESPN and the rest of the media are jerking off to ND and Michigan after their week 1 performances. Who needs who more, ND/UM needs the media or vice versa?

The media needs them. No two teams can get the Midwestern, overweight, Natty light drinking fans going like ND and Michigan. Sure, OSU has their fair share of loyalists, but Ohio fucking blows. Michigan and Notre Dame have huge bandwagons and are ratings winners for ESPN and company – they would love one of them to rise to national prominence once again.

ND/UM don’t need the media, we can talk to ourselves about how great we are (or were) and never once open a news paper. The only thing ND/UM need the media for is for our rich, blue hair alums to check their stock quotes and to watch Fox News.

I have one word for you… word.

ND and Michigan go after a lot of the same recruits. Give me a couple of guys on the current ND squad that you would want wearing piss streaks on their helmet (A.K.A. the winged helmet). How would they make your team better?

Definitely not these guys:


Regardless, players seem to become useless once Charlie gets his hands on them.

Well, what about guys like this:
He fucking dominated you.

Do you even know how good Jimmy Clausen really is, or are you terrified by the truth?

We guess as terrified as anyone can be by a balding 20 year-old being cuckolded by his 500-pound planetary coach.

The WLA are used to 5’8 140 pound crackhead QB’s. That’s why they have a weight obsession.

How will Stevie Brown help the Irish in 2009?

Stevie Brown is now a linebacker, and thus far more unlikely to cause a gaffe that results in Notre Dame running a single-man route for a touchdown. Troy Woolfolk? That’s another question.

When the game is over, remember the image of Brown getting postered by Kyle Rudolph.

With the best offensive player on your team from the 2008 game now in Houston (McGuffie), who will fill his tiny shoes?

Denard Robinson is faster than Charlie Weis when a new plate of ribs is put on the buffet at OCB. Did you know he doesn’t tie his shoes?

Someone told me that Te’o can’t stand QB’s that don’t tie their shoes. Ooohhhhhh.

If Michigan goes into a tailspin after the beatdown that they are about to receive, what happens to Dick Rod?

RR probably need to get Michigan bowl-eligible this year, which is imminenty attainable. Whether that involves beating Notre Dame or not is probably ultimately irrelevant. That said, if Michigan wins Saturday’s game, it would take a mind-numbingly awful loss (like, to Eastern, Deleware St., Indiana, or Purdue) to stop Michigan from making a bowl game.

What an amazingly tough schedule! That’s Big Ten tough!

Loved this question from you (WLA reads Subway Domer). I’ll return it to you: Who is your favorite Wu-Tanger? Which Michigan player most resembles him?

Our favorite, by far, is the Ghostface Killah – the Michigan player that most resembles him, clearly, is 4th string quarterback David Cone. See for yourself at around 2:20 of this.

You can’t stop Tony Starks.

Has the average Michigan fan’s perception of this game changed with Notre Dame’s first week performance?

I’d say the “average” Michigan fan is likely far more optimistic about Michigan’s chances. I think those of us that follow the day-in, day-out ups and downs of the teams are probably in the same place as we were – Michigan, at home, has an extremely good shot at winning this game.

It’s too early in the season for Michigan fans to realize what is going on.

Your prediction.

Barring last year’s barrage of turnovers and an appearance by the Artist Formerly Known as “Starting Quarterback Nick Sheridan”, I think Michigan eeks out a lower-scoring affair. Notre Dame’s offensive line has been bad for two years, and at some point, you need to ignore Sam Young’s five-stars and concentrate on the fact that he’s been a turnstile for his entire career. Michigan’s defensive line will make minced-meat of the o-line, and their secondary will likely have a gaffe or two that results in Michael Floyd and Golden Tate prancing down the sidelines. The road-team classically does poorly in this series, and Saturday will be no exception – 20-14, MICH. Book it.

Fellas, fellas, fellas….

Video Bonanza: Skunkbear Hunting Season

September 10, 2009

Target Practice

September 9, 2009

Weis Has A Plan

September 8, 2009

Just Because We Hate You…

March 23, 2009

Found this on a message board, and I had to pull it out now. I have no patience.